I think I am under a severe foodophilistic attack. All I am thinking apart from work is food. Today for a change I thought about the dishes I dislike most. You might be awed, but what tops my list is phuchka. For the uninitiated, phuchka is not golgappa or pani puri. Those are Marathi and North Indian variations. Phuchka in Kolkata is distinct in taste and form than these.
I have been coaxed into eating phuchka by different women at different times and on every occasion I hated it more than ever. It completely defies my reason why Bengali women find phuchka such a romantic food. They just cannot stay away from it when they are on a date. OK fine, eat it. Why can't you eat it with me just standing by your side? Why do you have to make me gulp it along with you? It does not show affection in any way to push junk down my gut when I don't want you to.
And talking about standing and watching you when you eat it, believe me you do not look cute when you are trying to stuff your mouth with more food than you can chew and tokjol running down your chin and dripping all over. Thats not the end of it! You want the phuchkawala to add more of every spice that make up the unholy concoction. Believe me my friend, it is such a turn off to have a date drooling over spicy roadside junk for half an hour and her breath reeking of rock salt and tamarind. You smell sultry. Do you think any of the above does anything to add to your grace and poise? And then you expect me to look at you as the most adorable piece among all of God's creations.
If you think you can get away with all of this please think twice before next time you complain about me stinking of tobacco, or complain about my dress sense when I wear a dark blue shirt with a brown trouser, or if you think my clothes are way too big sized for me. I wear them because they are comfortable, and that is the way it would be!
I am sure I deserve a huge applause from my Bengali brothers who has suffered the torture as I have, for sending out this message. I equally deserve the wrath of the Bongololona's, but truth remains truth, and I proudly stand by it >(:o)
My (Lamenting) Ode to Phuchka
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12 comments:
hey i was laughing out loud reading this...spl remebering all the times i had forced my friends (read men friends) to eat puchka with me. my once upon a time boy friend devised a clever way to get out of it...he came up with the idea that whenever he eats puchka the excessive amount of tamarind and lemon makes his jaw stiff and that he cannot move his jaws for quiet sometime...once he actually bgehaved like his jaws had gone all stiff and that he could not move them...though i was wee bit suspicious of him and this latest of his...there was nothing much that i could do.... so from then on had to let him off the hook...
and after such experiences...i prefer having puchka with my girl friends, my bro also likes it to a certain extent...girl friends are way better fun companions to have puchkas ...
i dont know whether puchka is a romantic food or not...but puchka is an amazing blessing of the food god on us those who love puchka...whenever i visit kolkata i attack the puchkawalas of my choise with gusto...
bon apetite is all i can say ... btw ... i missed out on the last r ta sukno and ekstra bitnun ar lebu dewa tokjol related idiosyncrasies that are associated
and also the phau bit...i for one do not budge without my stipulated phau from the puchkawala ;)
and the phau tastes the best...
Lol .. u know wat .. in Bengali there is a very populr quote " Nachte na janle uthon Banka " .. aftr I read this .. I m just thinking on that .. Mens are nasty like nythng shocks with bad smell , dirty closets , bad dressing sense , way of eating anything - u guys are so Fast in eating always...sometimes it looks weird u know...and last but not the lst they are not at all mature in their personal life , act like a Kid always .. that is Men .. so dude .. try to think on these matters not in our way of eating Phuchka .. :P
Chaitree,
I sympathise with you. It is really a sad state for a girl to be in if one could not meet an agreeable gentleman in all her life. I completely understand your desperation. I assume that you have a very high standard of hygiene and etiquette, since that is all you talk about. I think you start looking out for some male home science teachers in schools, they seem to be fitting your bill perfectly.
I couldn't have agreed more on the topic of us beings kids. We are the most innocent, childlike of the lot. It is no easy task to nurture the child in us in today's jetset world, and I admit that we falter at times, but we are getting there. Happy growing up/old to you girls.
Yours faithfully,
Sapphire.
Lol , How do u know I m in Dprsn ? is there any personal attack in mah previous commnt ?!
Most of the men are like that--- NAAAASTYYYY...I still stck on this :D
Wow..u alrdy knew about the home science teachrs,they are not nasty :P ... ok I ll try to find someone like that..
And yes I am agree with u " We are the most innocent, childlike of the lot "....:)lollll... :P.. I can understand that from ur reply.. :P---Chill dude ;)
Wonderfully written....had a good laugh!!!
But now don't know whether to entertain you at my house the next time?!! ;)
oi dekho!!! er sathe beri te nemontonno mishye felle hobe ki kore???!!! :-(
ota alada!!!!!!!
Nemontonne phuchka khaoale ki hobe :P ... by the way .. why did u del a post... I missd that.. dnt even gt a chance to rd :( ... poor me ... :(
Great idea....next time we'll have Phuchka on the menu with 'tangy tetul jol'!!! lol!
I had by mistake deleted the earlier post...its the same one....so not to worry.
nice writeup !
thanks for linking back to my photo.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kalyan/410184068/
Cheers
Kalyan
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